Self-care: Shake your own Hand First – Mildred Lynn McDonald

Heartbeats, rhythms and vibrations have always fascinated me. Recently, the idea of self-to-self Tender Loving Care has captured my attention. Why? Because as people navigate through personal growth, it is often the TLC part of the self care equation that causes discomfort, angst and sometimes guilt.Why is this? Perhaps it is left over life fabric from earlier years, an ingrained belief that links self care with selfishness, or simply a habit.The net-net is that that these perceptions, although very real to the person experiencing them, act like a big dab of Crazy Glue keeping you stuck in life patterns that limit, numb, or agitate your authentic heartbeat.

Three Common Scenarios
There are many reasons for choosing not to invest in self care; here are three popular ones:

“I don’t have time” – About 40% of the people that I work with perceive themselves as already scheduled to the maximum, so finding the time to invest in self care is akin to squeezing water out of a rock.

“It’s selfish” – I hear this comment about 50% of the time. When a person shares this with me, it is usually accompanied with a meek voice and a shy look. Often, they are looking for someone to say “It’s OK. You are not a selfish person. Go and have some fun!”.

“I don’t deserve it” – 10% of the people that I see in my coaching practice carry this belief with them. It is often a sign of something deeper.

If you find yourself in one (or more) of these categories, you might want to consider a great exercise called Shake-Your-Own-Hand-First! It comes in handy whenever you are tempted to put self care at the bottom of your To Do List.

Shake-Your-Own-Hand-First…
Picture this. You are in a room full of people. There are hundreds of hands just waiting to be clasped, and the line is endless. But wait; before you extend your reach, your hand presents itself. You clasp your hand securely and feel a sense of calm, clarity, and connection with yourself and the Universe. From this place of self-to-self alignment, you are able to decide which hands to shake and when; knowing full well that if you don’t shake someone’s hand, the Universe will provide another hand for them to shake, if it is in their highest interest. All of a sudden, you relax, take a deep breath, and start enjoying you and your life!

Shake-Your-Own-Hand-First means flipping “I don’t have time” to “I have all the time that I need”; “I am selfish” to “I invest in self care so I can be the best for myself and others”; and “I don’t deserve it” to “I am equally worthy.”

If you are ready to live your most fulfilling, vibrant life possible–take a deep breath, step forward, and Shake-Your-Own-Hand First. You are worth it 100%!

Enjoy the day!

Mildred Lynn