For the last couple of years, five questions have been at the top of my list. I call them my “balancers” because if the answers are in good shape, amazing things follow.How often do I check-in with my 5-Balancer Questions?
About four times a year, with the winter months offering a substantial advantage because when you live in the land of snow, there are many chilly (OK, freezing) evenings where a snug throw, a cup of tea, and a warm fireplace all conspire to set the stage for an open and honest healing conversation … with yourself.
Here are my 5-Balancer Questions, for your consideration:
You’ll have a chance to try the exercise a little later on…
- How do I identify and support my personal heartbeat?
- Am I consistently listening and acting in integrity with my inner voice?
- What people, situations, locations nourish me … and drain me?
- Given a free day with no limitations, what would I choose to do with it?
- Am I living a happy, balanced, and joyful life … now?
If you are wondering how I came up with the questions, the answer is easy. They rose from my heart to the surface of my consciousness again and again during quiet times. Being curious by nature, I asked a number of people if they too have questions that keep popping up for them during downtime. The answer was a resounding “yes”, although, until asked directly, about 80% admitted that they never took the time to notice the pattern. On a comical note, a few shared that even if they did notice the pattern, they would most likely just squish the awareness as they moved onto the next item on their daily “To Do” list (gasp!).
Encouraged that a good chunk of people had balancer-like questions visiting them on a regular basis, and forever the researcher, I decided to inject my personal five balancer questions into healing conversations to see if they felt familiar, safe, and made sense to others.
Interestingly enough, although people liked the questions, about 65% admitted that their personal inner voice questions had a more negative flavour to them and seemed to come from their head, not their heart. For others, inner work was viewed as time consuming and scary. For most though, the general consensus was that balancer questions were intriguing and powerful. In some cases, respondents were eager to try, but being new to the process, felt ill-equipped or reluctant to tackle the questions on their own. On a bright note, the level of enthusiasm increased exponentially when I offered to guide each person through the questions. Yes, I could definitely feel a great, big exhale.
The 5-Balancer Questions hit a nerve with people. From this exercise, I learned three important things (always my favourite part):
- 1. True balancer questions come from the heart and spirit (not the mind)
- 2. Balancer questions are always loving and supportive (not negative)
- 3. Healthy inner dialogue with self is often low on the priority list (due to distractions)
Would you like to try the 5-Balancer Questions for yourself? If yes, you’ll be happy to know that I’ve created a little template for you (similar to the one that I use every three months):
Question 1: How do I identify and support my personal heartbeat?
Guidance, for your consideration: Step back and ask yourself if you even know your personal heartbeat (… come out, come out wherever you are). If you find that you are “in your head” or gravitating toward what society tells you is appropriate and reward-worthy, breathe deep and relax. Sometimes it helps to put your left hand gently on your chest as you breathe in and out. (When I connect with my heartbeat, it feels like warm, comforting, pure white energy).
Sometimes the biggest barrier to connecting with your heartbeat is the inability to disconnect from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. I’ve found these antidotes very effective: saturate yourself in Nature, sit by the water and recalibrate your breath with the waves, play, laugh and sing with children. What does connecting to your personal heartbeat feel like? I feel happy. I am at peace. I could stay 100% content in the moment a long time. Space and time disappear. Perhaps you will have a similar experience.
Once you identify and connect with your personal heartbeat, observe when and where the “centred, joyful, and free feeling” is revving. Make a commitment to gradually bring more heartbeat supportive activities into your life. Hmm, and please remember to thank your “heartbeat” for showing up and simply “being” a loving life force 365 days a year!
Question 2: Am I consistently listening to and acting in integrity with my inner voice?
Guidance, for your consideration: One of the most meaningful moments I’ve experienced happened when I realized that my inner voice was louder (and stronger) than society’s outer voice. If you are asking yourself what is the difference between your heartbeat and inner voice, the best way that I can describe it is that the expression of your heartbeat is a feeling or knowing; while the expression of the inner voice is gentle, loving words, songs, impressions or phrases.
On a personal level, acknowledging the ageless wisdom of my inner voice was a life-changing concept. Initially, I found that tangible world data and intangible inner voice data often conflicted with each other—which in turn created uncertainty and confusion in me. Listening consistently to your inner voice takes practice, so please be kind to yourself and laugh at your foibles.
Tip: Baby steps and positioning choices as “pilot projects” makes transitioning a lot easier. I also made a promise to myself to always, no matter what, trust my inner voice; somehow I knew that my inner voice was clear and connected to my heart and spirit. It would always have my highest interest in mind, and therefore, would never let me down.
Question 3: What people, situations and locations nourish me … and drain me?
Guidance, for your consideration: Experience has shown me that the best way to get a handle on the nourish/drain energy equation is through good ol’ observation. Time, attention, and focus will glean great rewards for your health and well-being. Some people keep a list, while others simply take mental notes. Tip: Best not to get into the “whys” of what nourishes or drains you at the beginning. Simply teach yourself to observe your energy level (with an eye to increasing the positive and decreasing the negative) and the rest will flow easily.
Question 4: Given a free day with no limitations, what would I choose to do with it?
Guidance, for your consideration: The freedom implied in this question often creates a strong emotional response in people. After years of observation, the conclusion that I’ve come to is that many people think that they need to “ask for permission” to have a free day. I’m not talking about taking a vacation day from work or treating yourself to retail therapy; this question introduces the “no limitations” and “boundless choice” vibrations … and from my experience, together they stir-up feelings on a deep level, especially if you are not in-sync with your heart and spirit. You could decide to spend a day with children though you have none. You could decide to go for massage though you are a rough, tough firefighter. Don’t restrain yourself. Free yourself.
The good news is that as you become more connected with your authentic heartbeat, listen consistently to the ageless wisdom of your inner voice, and understand what drains and nourishes you, this question ceases to evoke a waterfall of emotion. It shifts seamlessly into the category of things you can do to sustain more balance and joy in your life. You will be surprised what dreams you have hidden.
Question 5: Am I living a happy, balanced, and joyful life … yet?
Guidance, for your consideration: This is my favourite question. It makes me laugh because the important part is contained in a simple three-letter “now?” It reminds me that as a human being, happiness and joy only vibrate in the present tense each day, 24 X 7. In addition, if you have shown up in your truth for Questions 1 to 4, the unavoidable result IS a happy and joyful life. Yes siree, Question 5 is a bit of heart-centred trickster!
Next Steps
I hope that you enjoyed the 5-Balancer Questions as much as I enjoyed sharing them with you. If you are interested in learning more, please feel free to contact me (I’d love to hear from you).
For those who would like to explore the 5-Balancer Questions in a tele-class or study group format with other like-minded people, please let me know. I find this area fascinating and actively look for opportunities to share what I have learned with others along the happy trail.
Photo credit: Niclas_gent (Flicker)